Monthly Archives: August 2014

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Dinosaurs! WTF? 1st Anniversary Celebration Super Post

It’s like a cheesy clip show on a variety hour, except paranoid.

Happy 1st Anniversary, Conservative Dinosaur Readiness Movement. Dinosaurs! WTF? turned one year old this summer. And with all the dinosaur hatred it has spread, all the paranoia it has exacerbated, and all of the hilariously classy woodcuts it has spawned, I cannot say I have any regrets. Except that I don’t have a book deal yet.

This post is a post of celebration. I will be celebrating the great collaborations sent in by the Conservative Dinosaur Readiness Movement and its supporters by naming my favorite community contributions. There will also be a delightful photo section of all of the disturbing, godless tributes to dinosaurs I have found in my year long expedition to route out all of the dinosaur sympathizers in our society.

But let’s not forget this blog’s humble beginnings as a phony newsletter I sent to my friend Cheryl. Here is a photo for those of you who have never stopped by my office.


Wow, what a piece of crap. How far we have come.

Now, on to the Movement supporters who need to be recognized and possibly incarcerated.

Best Comments of the Year

Anyone who wins a Comment of the Year is entitled to a free home raptor proofing evaluation. Send me an email to collect your prize.

Most Ethically Correct Comment of the Year

HAWK of Madscience

“The important question is: “Does [Therizinosaurus] still taste like chicken?” I’ll agree that he is coming to kill us all, but I’m building a barbecue for the 6′ chicken legs.”

Thanks, Hawk, collect your prize. Check out Hawk’s blog for some equally WTF science commentary.

Most Openly Insane Comment of the Year

Hitsu123 from parts unknown

“Dear Lumbar,

I just wanted to say that your defense teachings recently saved my life, as well as my friend’s. A few hours ago after reading this manual, I was attacked by three Coral-Striped Utah Raptors whilst walking to my University’s Library. We were surrounded and shocked at their sheer speed and, as you said, they got the high ground on us before we knew we were being attacked…”
Full comment here.

Thanks, Hitsu. This comment was really weird. Collect your prize.

Most Inappropriately Analytical Comment of the Year

Matthew Hecht from Outsurvive

“4) [The Land Before Time migration] is a metaphor for seeking religion (going towards the sun), and they are feuding with other species is a metaphor for fighting like Baptist vs. Methodist fighting and Catholic vs. Protestant. Sharptooth is Satanic attacks. Bluth actually uses deep morals designed to change his audience.”
Full comment here. It’s a doozy.

Thanks, Matt. Read more of Matthew Hechts’s weird analysis of kid’s movies here, on his blog. Collect your prize.

Regular Contributors

There are also some regular contributors who need to be recognized.

Will Moore contributed a great deal to this site through his motivation and excellent cartoons. This is my favorite of his works. Thanks Will.
Ryan Martin has contributed to the promotion of this blog as well as the collection of classy woodcuts that define this site’s look. This is one of my favorites of his designs. Thanks Ryan.

by Ryan Martin

by Ryan Martin

Rachel Baker has contributed to the marketing and cafepress work on this site. She designed this site’s layout and helped me learn how to code for wordpress. Thanks Rachel.

Marten Dollinger has written a few articles for this site, including the last one about crows being idiots. He’s also recommended articles and helped me edit in the past. Thanks, Marten.

Finally, thanks to all of you who have shown your support by reading, subscribing, and sharing.

Here’s to another year of telling dinosaurs they can’t have our planet back yet. Now, play this song in the background while you scan through these pictures.

This image is staged with an animatronic, the apocalypse is not yet upon us.

This image is staged with an animatronic, the apocalypse is not yet upon us.

Kronosaurus is not actually a dinosaur so it's okay to like him.

Kronosaurus is not actually a dinosaur so it’s okay to like him.

I contemplate how to keep them that way.

I contemplate how to keep them that way.

A tribute to dinosaurs ruins an otherwise beautiful scene in Pittsburgh.

A tribute to dinosaurs ruins an otherwise beautiful scene in Pittsburgh.